He was a big man with a broken heart; his wife, sitting next to him, was equally crushed by the events of the last few days.
The teenage daughter of these two Christian people had just informed them that she was a lesbian, had always felt like a lesbian, and was going to pursue being a lesbian. The big man and his wife were devastated: faithful members of their church, Sunday School teachers, the envy of other parents with struggling teenagers, they believed that their daughter loved Jesus Christ. They had no categories to deal with the news that had invaded their home with all the irresistable force of a spiritual tsunami.
The father was, understandably, angry: he had responded well to his daughter at first, but now the anger was beginning to overwhelm him. He wanted to punish her, to take away things that she valued, and to not give her things that had been promised. He couldn’t stand, he said, to even look at her picture anymore and wanted to leave the room whenever she came into it.
“She doesn’t know what she’s doing,” he protested, “she doesn’t know how hard her life is going to be or how this is going to affect her relationships with the family and her friends.” He was probably right, since their daughter is barely seventeen. Most teenagers don’t grasp long-term ramifications for choices.
“She’s like a leper,” he said with disgust and sorrow mixed together.
Yes, I thought to myself, she is exactly like a leper. And, as Christians, we know what we should do.
The scene, although modified to disguise the family, is true. It is played out in my office with tragic regularity as parents try to face the horrifying reality of what their children are telling them. These are, for the most part, Christian families whose children have been raised in the church and in ostensibly Christian homes. They come to me for help, hoping I can somehow make it all go away or, at the very least, tell them what to do and how to handle the situation.
There are a lot of homosexuals in the Christian church, some practicing and some not. They are, for the most part, in the closet: they know that Christians have a reputation for shooting their wounded; they know that they are deeply wounded. And bleeding profusely.
The father of the teenage girl wanted to pull away from her, to essentially excommunicate her from the family. Something like that may be necessary in the future, but it’s not the place to start. Their daughter may be trying this on to see how it fits; rejecting her now throws her into the arms of people who will be all-too happy to confirm her confused sexual feelings.
Homosexuals are the present-day lepers of the Christian church. We don’t like them, they scare us, and we don’t know what to do with them or for them. AIDS comes to mind almost immediately.
In Jesus’ time, there were genuine lepers walking around the streets and paths of Judea. They were ostracized and shunned by the religious people of their day, too. Here is part of the leprosy law of Lev 13.45-46:
“As for the leper who has the infection, his clothes shall be torn, and the hair of his head shall be uncovered, and he shall cover his mustache and cry, ‘Unclean! Unclean!’ He shall remain unclean all the days during which he has the infection; he is unclean. He shall live alone; his dwelling shall be outside the camp.” (NASB)
Contact with a leper resulted in ceremonial uncleanness; to be cleansed from the defilement meant sacrifice, loss of privileges regarding the temple, and isolation. Leprosy was contagious, after all.
It is this that makes Jesus’ reaction to the man with leprosy in Mark’s history so remarkable.
“And a leper came to Jesus, beseeching Him and falling on his knees before Him, and saying, ‘If You are willing, You can make me clean.’ Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, ‘I am willing; be cleansed.’” - Mk 1.40-41 (NASB)
Jesus touched the leper. The ceremonial law – which governed the religious life of the community – was superceded by the law of love. Jesus didn’t chastise the man for not announcing his approach, for endangering others; He didn’t send him away in shame or turn His back and walk away. Jesus stretched out His hand, the text says, and touched him. This is amazing. Would you touch a leper? Do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on a homosexual?
It is also an example for us to follow. For the most part, the church has failed to embody the love and compassion of Christ in touching the untouchables in our midst. We, too, have had a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy with regard to sins such as homosexuality. And so these particular damaged people (as we all are) leave the church and disappear in the shadows of life. Or death.
Our job – and the job of the father who came to me – is to move toward the unlovely people in our lives, to embrace them, to show them the love of Jesus Christ, and to help them in their struggle against their own personal variation of Sin. Whatever reasons we might have or offer for not helping these people, it will not hold up at the judgment seat of Christ. The church is to be a healing community. That means there are going to be sick people in our midst. We need to help them.
I’m not suggesting that churches throw doctrine or discipline out the window; I am suggesting that churches think long and hard about how to come to the aid of Christians who have fallen prey to whatever behavior is currently labeled as unacceptable in our subculture. Homosexuals are not valueless people; they are people for whom Christ died. And they not only desperately need our help, they are entitled to it.
2 Cor 1:13