Today is a typical day off for me, a time for relaxing and touching base with folks. The following email exchange with my friends is standard fare for such times.

It started with a slightly enhanced news story from FoxNews:

Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 9:02 AM
To: 101 TNG
Subject: The times in which we live

Mother Says Baby’s Recurring ‘Bye Bye, Plane’
Comment Got Them Kicked Off Airplane

Thursday, July 12, 2007

ATLANTA — The mother of a 19-month-old boy says she and her son were kicked off a plane after she refused a stewardess’ request to medicate her son to keep him from talking.

Kate Penland, who lives in Gwinnett County in suburban Atlanta, said she and her son, Garren, had boarded the Continental Express plane last month after an 11-hour delay in Houston on an Atlanta-Oklahoma flight.

Garren kept saying, “Bye bye, plane,” Penland recalled. And she said the stewardess objected.

“At the end of her speech, she leaned over the gentleman beside me and said, ‘It’s not funny anymore. You need to shut your baby up,”‘ Penland told WSB-TV in Atlanta.

When Penland asked the woman if she was kidding, she said the stewardess replied, “You know, it’s called baby Benadryl.”

“And I said, ‘Well, I’m not going to drug my child so you have a pleasant flight,”‘ Penland told the TV station.

Penland said other passengers began speaking up on her behalf, and the flight attendant announced they were turning around and that Penland and Garren were going to be taken off the plane.

Members of the Atlanta Police Department bomb squad met the mother and her son inside the airport terminal following their removal from the Continental flight. Two APD officers, along with SWAT team members and representatives of Homeland Security, removed the boy from the resisting mother and took the child to an undisclosed location.

The boy was safely detonated a few hours later.

-30-

Dr Michael Russell
ΑΩ Counseling & Critical News Services

It then dawned upon me that there was more information to share.

Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 9:44 AM
To: My Friends
Subject: IED and children

There’s actually a diagnosis for this in the mental health manual: Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED); 312.34 in DSM-IV-TR. I am not making this up.

I don’t think it’s any accident that this disorder is referred to as “IED,” the very same as the favorite weapon of terrorists: improvised explosive device (IED).

If anyone mentions to you that their child has been diagnosed with “IED” or Intermittent Explosive Disorder, do not be decieved or naïve. We all need to be on the lookout for these dangerous children and report them to Homeland Security, DPS, local police, Oprah, or Jack Bauer – anyone with the authority to dispose of them safely.

Dr Michael Russell
ΑΩ Counseling & Bomb Disposal Services

Not surprisingly, someone wrote back:

Mike,

Is this similar to Intermittent Explosive Internal Combustion (IEIC)?

Mark

Which spawned the final email on the matter:

Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 12:36 PM
To: TNT
Subject: RE: IED and children

Mark:

Thank you for your inquiry. I hope the following information will be useful to you.

This IED is actually a new and improved version of the spontaneous-combustion child (SCC), something we rarely see now in this age of personal computers, personal mp3 players, and personal fire alarms and extinguishers. Recent advancements in technology have made it possible to abandon the earlier, severely limited collateral-damage effects of SCCs and replace them with the explosive model now available in all but third-world countries.

The danger, of course, is in what may happen if/when terrorist organizations make additional enhancements. One such group, Al-Gorra, reportedly has a school for toddlers: students go from First Grade, Second Grade, Third Grade, and then Weapons-Grade Plutonium. It is feared that such devices will be used to make global warming a reality.

Al-Gorra’s philosophy is captured in some of their oft-repeated slogans: “It takes a village to raise a child to thermonuclear levels” and “No child’s behind left.”

This present dilemma only exists because America opposed “zero-growth” birth control in the 70s and 80s, refusing to spay and neuter all children in third-world countries (i.e., any that do not speak English as their native language).

But, as they say, hindsight is useless.

Your friend,

Dr Michael Russell
ΑΩ Counseling & World Domination Services

Someone on the mailing list then asked to be removed. Wonder what that was all about?

(Listening to Offspring’s “Why Don’t You Get a Job?” on the iPod.)


2 Cor 1:13