On Thu, 06-9-05 10:05 am
OK, I’ll play.
Since others (Jollyblogger, Adrian, Semper Reformanda, Common Grounds Online) are having fun with self-deprecating, semi-serious jabs at their own theological system, I thought I’d offer up some clues to you determine if you, too, might be a dispensationalist.
Remember: this is very serious stuff.
You Might Be a Dispensationalist If . . . 1. you named your first child “Cyrus Ingersoll,” even though it was a girl.
2. when you pray, you turn and face towards Dallas.
3. you’re surprised and embarrassed by Jack Deere.
4. you need charts to teach the Book of Psalms.
5. you think Jesus used PowerPoint for the Sermon on the Mount.
6. you’re familiar with Chafer, but not Schaeffer.
7. when you’re driving home at night and see a bright light in the sky, you unfasten your seat belt and “get ready.”
8. you find prophetic significance in Martha Stewart’s arrest.
9. you know who John Nelson Darby is and have his synopsis of the Bible.
10. your favorite definition of “economy” comes from Charles Ryrie.
Good stuff! Thanks for playing.
That was awesome Mike – one of the best I’ve seen – hilarious.
On #7 – I can remember riding down the road one day and the sunset was straight in front of us and it was a brilliant orange, almost reddish, poking through the clouds. I didn’t unfasten my seatbelt but I did get all tingly inside!
That was great. No. 7 really made me laugh! The Schaeffer thing is good too.
[...] elical Pt 4 You Might Be a Presbyterian If . . . You might be a charismatic if….. You Might Be a Dispensationalist If you know of anymore let me kno [...]
You add up the letters in Henry kissenger and they come to 666!
You walk around a lawn mower outlet and relate it to the rapture!
You rejoice when the number of EU countries are reduced!
Great post Mike!
GBYAY
6 is cracking me up. I definitely met Chafer before Schaeffer. And Darby’s synopsis rocks so leave it alone!
And your pride is horrendous…how dare you post this!
obviously joking.
Playing Along
If you write a post like this making fun of other posts like this that are actually quite a bit funnier — you are me.
I am the Eggman. Goo Goo Ga Joob!
Hmmm – hate to interject anything serious here, but I wonder how is all of this recent stuff with the EU affecting all of the rapture watchers?
The original You Might Be A Dispy as quoted by Door Magazine and Ken Gentry in 1999!
…You might be a Dispensationalist
1. If more than one of your children is named Ryrie, Chafer or Darby…
2. If you get excited when you see a sentence with a parenthesis…
3. If you license plate reads: “IM PR TRBâ€â€¦
4. If you believe the musical “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers†contains an apocalyptic message…
5. If your bedroom, office and car all have sky-lights…
6. If you have ever stated: “Well, Lindsey said…â€
7. If there are more underlined sentences in your copy of “Late Great Planet Earth†than in your Bible…
8. If you own a copy of “Late Great Planet Earthâ€â€¦
9. If you consider Tommy Ice an authority on anything…
10. If your Pastor gives a sermon exclusively from the New Scofield Bible study notes…
11. If you’ve eve had more than three candidates for the AntiChrist at one time…
12. If you think Saddam Hussein’s name means 666 in more than three languages…
13. If you took Hal Lindsey’s advice twenty years ago not to make any long term plans and are now broke, uneducated and in a dead-end job…
14. If bar-codes make you nervous…
15. If you’ve only been a Christian for one year and your Pastor has preached through the book of Revelation more than two times…
16. If you make sure there’s at least one non-Christian pilot on every flight you take…
17. If your church has adopted the 60’s song “Up, Up and Away†as a hymn…
18. If you think the Ryrie Study Bible notes are part of the original autographs…
19. If you’ve already forgotten the last wrongly predicted date of the rapture…
20. If you already know the next predicted date for the rapture…
21. If you’re still suspicious about Gorbachev’s birthMARK…
22. If you believe that Grant Jeffrey, Tommy Ice, Dave Hunt or Hal Lindsey is a theologian…
23. If you know the location of the European Central Bank…
24. If you’ve ruined more than five records trying to find backward messages…
25. If you count trampoline aerobics as “Rapture Practice†in your morning devotions…
26. If you think Texe Marrs’ books belong in the theology section of your local Christian bookstore…
27. If you never stand on your head out of the fear that the rapture will send you the wrong direction…
28. If your baby’s stroller has a break-away sun bonnet…
29. If you always chew gum so your ears won’t pop at the rapture…
30. If you can name more dispensations than commandments…
31. If Clarence Larkin is your favorite artist…
32. If you know who Clarence Larkin is…
33. If your children’s favorite game is Pre-Trib-Hide-and-Seek, “Now you see me, now you don’tâ€â€¦
34. If you think the four millennial positions are: Pre-Trib, Mid-Trib, Post-Trib and Liberal…
35. If your favorite party game is “Pin the tail on the Beastâ€â€¦
36. If your favorite CrackerJacks prize is a temporary tattoo of the Mark of the Beast…
37. If you think John Walvoord, CI Scofield and J N Darby are some of the Church Fathers…
38. If your favorite one-volume commentary on the Bible is on “The Bible Codeâ€â€¦ (Jon B.)
39. If your favorite multi-volume commentary on this morning’s newspaper is the Bible…(Jane D.)
-Ethan E. Harris and Anonymous [he wishes not to be named...I dont' care]
I am a PROUD dispensationlist…and this list is really COOL…LOL!