Comments on: The Suffering Spouse http://eternalperspectives.com/2005/04/23/the-suffering-spouse/ . . . searching for sanity in a Christian culture gone mad Sat, 21 Aug 2010 09:01:28 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Kent Turpin http://eternalperspectives.com/2005/04/23/the-suffering-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-1469 Kent Turpin Thu, 12 Jan 2006 19:10:50 +0000 http://eternalperspectives.com/2005/04/23/the-suffering-spouse/#comment-1469 Please understand that the tone of this message is determined by my frustration with my own circumstances. I am so tired of hearing everyone tell me that I am obligated to remain in a marrage where for 20 years my needs have been ignored. I know my wife loves me as well, but so what. I am empty and tired. I have built a life around a marrage that just doesn't meet my needs. I just think that in a marrage it takes two people to make it work one cannot do it alone. Please understand that the tone of this message is determined by my frustration with my own circumstances.

I am so tired of hearing everyone tell me that I am obligated to remain in a marrage where for 20 years my needs have been ignored.

I know my wife loves me as well, but so what. I am empty and tired. I have built a life around a marrage that just doesn’t meet my needs. I just think that in a marrage it takes two people to make it work one cannot do it alone.

]]> By: Rich Anderson http://eternalperspectives.com/2005/04/23/the-suffering-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-737 Rich Anderson Tue, 03 May 2005 14:39:21 +0000 http://eternalperspectives.com/2005/04/23/the-suffering-spouse/#comment-737 When our natural needs become a cause of anger and bitterness, or a reason to oppress or attack others, then we must say no to them as well. For example, it’s perfectly proper to want intimacy and respect in our marriage. But people are sinners, and at times even Christian spouses may find themselves lonely and unloved. Then one of two things will happen: Either we will become angry and reject the other person - or we will learn how to die to even our valid personal needs, and trust God to work good even in an imperfect situation. ----- The post above IS my current situation. Consider this. I am the man and feel unloved and not valued in my marriage. My wife has been previously married, but it was 15 years ago. She loves me...I know she does. I just don't feel valued. My mind starts filling with negative thoughts that challenge what I know to be right. For those in similar situations, I recommend the book SACRED MARRIAGE by Gary Thomas. It reminds us that God works though our marriages to bring us closer to Him. When our natural needs become a cause of anger and bitterness, or a reason to oppress or attack others, then we must say no to them as well. For example, it’s perfectly proper to want intimacy and respect in our marriage. But people are sinners, and at times even Christian spouses may find themselves lonely and unloved. Then one of two things will happen: Either we will become angry and reject the other person – or we will learn how to die to even our valid personal needs, and trust God to work good even in an imperfect situation. —–

The post above IS my current situation. Consider this. I am the man and feel unloved and not valued in my marriage. My wife has been previously married, but it was 15 years ago. She loves me…I know she does. I just don’t feel valued. My mind starts filling with negative thoughts that challenge what I know to be right. For those in similar situations, I recommend the book SACRED MARRIAGE by Gary Thomas. It reminds us that God works though our marriages to bring us closer to Him.

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